Blue

Here's today's poem.

Today

I forgot how it felt to cry
And feel as if your soul was being torn apart
You feel as if your world is falling down
Spiraling around you
And there's no way out

I forgot how it felt to be truly sad
The laughter around you
Seems almost a million miles away
You can hear the echoes
But they are meaningless
You are deaf to it

I forgot how it felt to be hurt inside
It feels as if someone is squeezing your voice box
And you feel as if you were hit in the chest
Your brain is like mush
It won't work the way you want it to
No matter how hard you try
All you can do is

cry,

cry,

cry.

:(

This is a poem about I dream I had.

Which Is Heaven and Which is Hell?

I'm walking down the street.
It's pitch black,
And I can barely see where I'm going.

I'm in the border between the slums and the downtown area
Of a huge city I've never been in.
The skyscrapers tower over me
And the long, dark, wet, cold grass
Ripples in the wind beneath my feet.

Two toddlers
And one older woman are following me
They're all from the tribe lands of Africa
But it's okay
There friends of mine,
But I don't know them in real life.

Sirens go off
Everyone rushes into the nearest skyscraper
As troops of chaos come from the sky
But angels grab some and they disappear in a wisp of clouds
The angels take them to a better place, according to the old woman
But the angel's wings are black.

We are locked out of the skyscraper.
We have no where to go but an old abandoned parking lot next to the building.
There's an old abandoned, retro style trailer there too.
"What do we do?"
the old woman asks.
"Do your tribal dance."
I say.

She and the children dance to a song they sing
Without drums or instruments to guide them
And the troops are dumbstruck
Even though their thousand guns are all pointing at us.

That night we have a party of our victorious defeat
Of the troops of chaos.
I'm in my living room,
When the sirens go off
The people celebrating scream
And an angel grabs me.

I travel over peaceful farmland
And lakes and ponds,
And finally to another version of my living room.
Everything is so blurry and bright,
And then, I feel really bad.
I should be protecting my friends,
Not be safe in some paradise.
A woman I do not know is sitting in front of me.
"Is this heaven?"
I ask.
"No.
Far from it."
she answers.

Oops...

I looked at the last time  had published something, and it was MARCH 22.
FYI, it's April 7th.  That's a long time.
Anyway, here's a long poem.  I'm changing my mission statement too...

It Happened Again

The more I stop to wonder
Why everything around me crashes and burns
The more I realize
I'm banging my head against the same wall
That I hit it in the last time.

My life is a constant dead end
I cannot bloom into the person I was meant to be
My growth in my heart in stunted
Maybe even shrinking
As the world around me shrinks just as fast.

I have a dream though
That one day
I'll bloom like a blossom
And show the world who I am
My dreams
My hopes.
My heart will sing with joy on that day.
That day may never come,
But I can still hope.